Everything Changes
by JordanVDM
Summary: When her parents die suddenly Kyah returns home to La Push and her family, where everything changes when she meets her soul mate. Things are never that easy for Kyah though and it's not long before it starts to go wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I pulled up outside a small, red tinted house and sighed as I cut the engine to my 2005 Volkswagen Polo. I guess I finally arrived at Aunt Sue's house, where I would be staying for the duration of a year until I set off for med school. I stared at the steering wheel for a while, attempting to pull myself together, this would be an awkward day to say the least. I haven't spent any long amount of time with my aunt and two cousins since I was 5 years old, fear began to wrap its way around me and I wished that I could just turn around and go back home. But there is no home for me to go back to, not anymore. I turned to look out of the window and at the small house I would be calling home when an extremely tall, extremely muscled, shirtless male opened the front door beaming in my direction before starting towards me. I took a deep breath before opening my door and climbing out of the car. As he got closer, I realised this man was actually no man at all, but my cousin Seth, whom I hadn't set eyes on for three to four years now and he hadn't looked like that the last time I saw him. He pulled me into a bear hug when he reached me and I squealed in protest. _Ouch, too tight._ He pulled away from me to look at my face, his becoming serious for a while.

"How you doing?" he asked me, worry spreading across his face.

I smiled up at him trying hard to cover the sorrow. "I'm good." I lied.

Sue came hurrying up behind her son and pulled me into a hug next, and a much more comfortable one at that. She pulled away to brush the hair out of my face before saying, "I'm glad you're finally here, I've been so worried about you."

I smiled at her reassuringly. "You really don't need to worry about me Sue, I can survive anything." She gave me an 'I-doubt-that' face but smiled none the less, trying to make me happy, I presume.

I turned back to my car to start pulling out my belongings, only to find it already being attacked by several other shirtless men, all much larger and more muscled than Seth. I felt my jaw drop as I took them in and heard Seth's laughter somewhere far away. Within seconds my car was empty and my bags and boxes being carted into the house. _Wow!_

I stammered pointing at the gorgeous men stealing my stuff and Seth laughed even more.

"Car's empty." I heard a stunning, husky voice call as my car door got slammed shut. I turned in time to look straight into an exceptionally muscled, bare chest. I snapped my jaw shut and took a few steps back to look up at the face who owned that chest. It was useless though, my jaw dropped even more than before as I stared into his dazzling, almost hazel coloured eyes. The world seemed to disappear; it was like nothing else existed except him. He stared straight back, the shock on his face soon turned into a grin, then a brilliant smile.

Someone cleared their throat next to us making me jump and scream a little. "You were staring," Seth giggled nudging the man in the arm. "Did you just –" He was cut off.

"Shut up." The man glared daggers at him, I'm not going to lie it was a little scary.

"Kyah, this is Jacob Black." **_(Pronounced KYE-UH)_** Seth muttered before walking off looking at the floor and grumbling.

"Hi," he smiled that brilliant smile at me again, making me melt. "You remember me?" He asked, his voice making my knees go weak. _Oh get a grip woman_, I chastised myself.

"Ummm, vaguely." I pulled an apologetic face which just made him laugh a little. _God I could listen to that laugh all day long. _"I did leave when I was five so you can't be mad at me." I giggled at him like a two year old. _Stupid! _

"I'll never be mad at you." He said, again my jaw dropped like the fool I am and I just stood staring at him because I didn't know what I was supposed to say to that. _Is he flirting with me?! No. Why would a guy that looks like that flirt with me? Mental sigh._

"Are you okay?" He asked me whilst I was kicking myself for being such an idiot. "You look angry."

"What?" I stammered. "Oh, no. I'm fine."

"Okay, why don't we get you inside so you can freshen up?" Sue interrupted us. _Oh my god, I had completely forgotten she was there! _ I nodded at her and let her guide me into the overflowing house.

There was a tiny hallway for coats and shoes a set of stairs and a white already opened door that lead straight into a front room / kitchen / diner all in one. It was decorated cream, with cream carpets and tiles to match, and covered with family photos. It was small, but homey and comfortable. It was also filled with shirtless men, who I was beginning to realise were actually all around my age, some a little older and a couple a little younger (as far as I could tell anyway).

Leah jumped on me, grabbing me into a tight hug. "I'm really sorry I couldn't be at the funeral." She whispered into my hair. "My boss wouldn't give me the time off." She glared over at Sam for a while and turned back to me smiling sadly.

Leah and I got back into contact with each other when Sam and Leah's relationship was called off (to put it nicely), she had come and stayed in New York with me and my parents for a little while after and we had remained close ever since. I looked over to Sam and back again at her slightly confused as to why he was still hanging around. "It's okay." I told her as she let go of me.

"You need to meet everyone, huh?"

"Yeah." I laughed at her. "Trust you guys to have a house full of people for me to meet the second I get here." I was trying to sound light and well you know, okay, but I think it came off in a kind of begrudging way.

"Okay, well over there is Jacob, Quil and Embry." She said pointing to a group of three guys, I vaguely remembered, Jacob still staring at me. "And then there's obviously Seth, and that's Colin and Brady with him." They were the ones I thought seemed younger than the others and they smiled up at me before glancing at Jacob who was glaring at them and immediately turned away from me. "You'll be doing your last year of school with that lot. And then obviously you know Sam, and that's Paul and Jared with him." They waved a little, smiling at me and I recognised them as Sam's friends whom I vaguely met before. "And the girls are Emily, Kim and I guess you remember Rachel." Leah finished pointing to each girl sat with the last group of men Leah had mentioned.

I just nodded because no, I didn't remember Rachel but she was smiling at me as if I should.

"Is this a bit overwhelming for you sweetie?" Sue whisper yelled over to me.

"What?" I had been looking at Jacob again. _Damn it! _"Oh. No. I'm okay. Just a lot of names." I smiled at her again but she can see straight through me.

"Well, why doesn't Leah show you to her old room?" Sue asked.

"I'll do it!" Someone rushed, I turn towards that gorgeous husky voice again and that brilliant beaming smile of Jacob Black and mentally melted right on the spot.

"Is that okay with you Kyah?" Sue questioned, worry spreading across her face.

"Ummm, yeah if I'm allowed boys in my room it is." I glanced at her.

She looked over to Jacob with a look on her face that I didn't recognise and then turned back to me. "You're allowed Jake in your room." She said, as if there was a difference. _Well I guess he is more man then boy, _I thought checking him out and then realising they were all staring at me. I felt my cheeks redden a little.

"Okaaayy." I said awkwardly which just made his smile bigger and me feel like I should be a puddle on the floor by now. "I guess I'll just follow you then." I mumbled to him looking at the floor in embarrassment.

He flashed me those brilliant white teeth once more before turning and walking through the door I had just come through and up the small staircase. My room was the last down the narrow hallway. Jacob opened my door and marched straight in, holding it open for me before closing it behind us.

The room had the same fluffy carpets as downstairs and same cream walls. The wall straight in front of us had a double bed backed up against it and two windows – one either side of the bed, the wall to the left had a built in wardrobe and the wall to the right had a small desk and chair in front as well as another door. It was small and cosy and actually kind of perfect.

"So you think you'll adjust okay to reservation life instead of living in a big city?" Jacob asked me making small talk as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Yeah I don't see why not, I only have to get through a year really." I told him. His face dropped, sadness filling it.

"What? Why?" He almost stammered.

"College." _Isn't that kind of obvious? _"You don't plan on going, do you?" My voice changed almost sounding condescending. He shook his head. "Why not?"

"I'm needed here." He told me, his voice darkening a little. I gave him a questioning look but he didn't say anything. I moved to sit down next to him on the bed and he shuffled closer to me. "Are you really okay?" he asked me worry dominant in his tone. I just nodded afraid my voice would give me away. "Why are you lying to everyone?" I didn't say anything. _Does he ever give up? _He sighed, his face saddening. My heart reached out to him, and I felt myself saddening with him, for him. "I know what it's like to lose a parent… I know it's not the same, but if you need to talk about it with someone, I'm here for you…". He looked me in the eyes, "Always." He mumbled.

"Thanks but I don't need to or want to talk about it." I muttered wishing I could sound stronger than that.

I stood up and grabbed one of the suitcases full of clothes, placing it on the bed where I had just been sitting. I unzipped it loudly and riffled through until I found some clothes that I would look much more presentable in. I headed for the door. "Where are you going?" He asked me, confusion clouding his eyes.

"Bathroom."

He pointed to the other door in the room. "You have your own." He smiled as I passed him and rushed through the door.

The bathroom was tiny but it had the necessities, shower, toilet and sink. I pulled on a newer pair of light jeans and a cream jersey top before instantly wishing I had chosen something different and more flattering. I groaned to myself and I looked in the mirror.

"Are you okay?" I heard Jacob's now way too familiar husky voice ask through the door.

"Mhmmm, I'll be one second." I called back.

I tried to tidy my dark wavy hair a little but without any luck. It hung loose and free down below my shoulders and pretty much had a life of its own. I looked at my tan Native American skin wishing I didn't look so empty these days. _Stupid car crash, _I mumble-thought as I headed back out the door, leaving my discarded clothes on the floor behind me.

Jacob beamed at me as I walked back into the room, looking me up and down for a while. His eyebrows crinkled together as I moved the suitcase back to the floor to take back my position next to him. "Sue said you were in the car too?" It was a question, not a statement. I nodded to him once and watched as anger flitted across his face. His body started to shake a little and he balled his hands into fists. I placed my hand on top of one of his and felt my eyes go wide at his body temperature. _Man he's toasty. I could get used to that. Wait. WHAT? _He seemed to calm down at my touch. "You look okay." He mumbled.

I stood up in front of him and lifted up my shirt to expose my stomach. His face hardened and anger filled it as he observed the new three inch scar running down the right hand side of my stomach. The anger on his face soon turned to fear and sorrow as his hand gingerly reached out to touch it. He ran his fingertips over the newly healed, pink skin, leaving warm tingly trails in their absence. It felt like electricity was shooting through my body from where he touched me and the surprise on his face told me he felt it too.

He slowly pulled his hand back which I instantly regretted and stood up. "We should probably get you back down stairs." His husky voice almost whispered.

I looked up into his beautiful brown eyes and for a while forgot about the world. I sighed out loud, "There's something about you Jacob Black." I mumbled and then realised I had said that out loud too.

"Yeah?" He asked me a cocky grin growing on his face.

I just nodded once before following him back down the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I woke early the next morning to the sounds of voices downstairs. _Do they like live here or something? _There was a sharp tap on my door as I sat up.

"Yeah?" I asked as I rubbed my sleepy eyes.

"Hi." It was Seth. He closed the door behind him and sat on the end of my bed. "Are you okay?" He asked me, his voice filled with worry.

"Mhmm, why wouldn't I be?" I was more alert now.

"Kyah, my room is right next door." He told me, like that was supposed to mean something to me. I felt the confusion cover my face. He sighed, "I could hear you screaming." I felt the shock on my face, my eyes widened but I couldn't say anything. "I came in a couple of times but you wouldn't wake up." His voice was small and weak, he felt bad for me. _Great. _

"Sorry if I kept you awake" I mumbled embarrassed looking down at my hands.

"It's not me I'm worried about." I looked up to his face my eyes questioning him but my voice unable to speak. He seemed to know what I was asking. "No, mum didn't hear you, or at least I don't think she did, if she had she would have been in here all night with you."

Relief flooded my face and body and I exhaled again, I hadn't realised I had been holding my breath.

"Please don't tell her." I asked him.

He sighed, not liking the request. "I won't if you tell me what's going on." I looked at him doubtfully.

"Someone needs to look after you Kyah."

"I don't need looking after." I whispered.

"Yes. You do. Tell me or tell my mum" he ordered.

"You are so unfair." He didn't say anything. "I just keep reliving it, every night. Seeing the other car come towards us, me getting thrown from the car as it smashed into us. I relive sitting up to watch as the two cars collide with that truck basically crushing my parents to death. I think I start screaming then – in the dream - because that's when I really started screaming." I turned to look him in the eyes then. "You don't get to watch your parents die like that, knowing somehow that you should have been dead with them and just forget it. You don't get to carry on like normal. I refuse to deal with it when I'm awake so I deal with it when I'm asleep. The screaming stops when the dream does." I sounded nonchalant, like I didn't care, like it was no big deal, but we both knew better than that.

With that I got up, grabbed some clothes and toiletries and headed to my tiny bathroom to get ready for the day. I took a long, much needed shower, dressed into a pair of dark green leggings and a long sleeved white top which hung loosely to my skin and accentuated my curves nicely. Walking back out of my bathroom to find Seth still sat on my bed, I sighed as the cool air nipped at my skin. I grabbed a black cardigan pulling it on awkwardly over the long sleeves of my top. It hung down nicely over the top though; however neither covered my bottom and hearing the deep voices drifting through the floor and immediately regretted my clothing choice. I started ruffling through my still unpacked case for a different top.

"Ummm… how many more clothes are you going to put on?" Seth sounded impatient.

"I just think, maybe I should change." I whispered glancing at the door and then at my bum.

Seth's eyes widened in shock when he realised what I meant. "They won't look at you like that, at least not whilst Jake's here and you look nice." I gave him the I-don't-believe-you face but stopped searching anyway.

"I am in a house filled with steroid-taking-over-grown boys; they will look at me like that." I sighed. "Don't worry about it, I'm used to it. New York wasn't exactly the place for gentlemen."

Seth looked at me for a while, his face filled with an emotion I didn't recognise. "Mum made breakfast, it's pretty much ready now, and we should head down." He mumbled the whole sentence and I was lucky to catch any of it.

I followed him down the stairs and into the front room, as I entered everyone stopped talking to look and stare at me. _As if they didn't do that enough yesterday. _"I'm not going to disappear." I muttered to myself and some of them laughed a little. _They weren't supposed to hear that. _It seemed to do the trick though as they all went back to whatever they were doing before, leaving me to go and sit at the kitchen unit on one of the stools with Sue, one of the two people I actually felt comfortable with.

Leah came to sit beside me, smiling brightly as she did so. "Here." She handed me my phone. I looked up at her confused but took it anyway. "I came into your room earlier and took it." She smiled, "Thought you could use a lie in and I know what you're like with the alarm on that thing." I groaned. _Lay ins aren't good for you. _She giggled at me and wrapped an arm around me for a while.

"You look good." She told me, looking me up and down.

"This is how I always look." My voice was a monotone and she knew that compliments were the last thing I was looking for today.

"I know. I didn't mean how you dressed today, I meant in general."

"What were you expecting? For me to be like fat or something?" I asked her jokingly.

"Ha no. I was expecting for you to like maybe cry a little and kind of give up with yourself." She muttered as if she didn't really want to say it.

I looked over at her sceptically for a while before saying, "what good would that do me?" She didn't answer. "I'm not going to have some sort of midlife crisis, bad things happen to good people, that's just the way it is."

Sue handed me a plate filled with waffles. "Wow! There is no way I can eat this much, but thank you."

She laughed, "I'm sure someone will finish them for you." She said as she eyed the boys, picking up a huge plate and placing it on the table. They all scrambled to get to the plate filled with food and I felt the shock cover my face as they each grabbed at least 10 huge waffles each.

"People always leave huh?" Leah said eyeing me.

"What?" I stammered.

"That _thing _on your neck." She emphasized the word thing, her voice filled with disgust. "When did you get it?" talking about the tattoo on the back of my neck.

"A while ago, and like you can talk." I said eyeing the tribal tattoo on her left upper arm. I had noticed the other guys had the same one, even Seth.

"At least mines not depressing and I didn't choose to get it." She defended herself.

"No you were kidnapped and dragged into a tattoo parlour." I said sourly.

Leah's body started to shake and she looked angry. "Leah." Someone warned but I didn't turn to look and see who it was. I just sat there and stared her down. As the shaking stopped but the anger on her face and in her eyes remained I said "Don't lecture me when you've gone and done the same thing to yourself. My body, my decision."

"Yes and we both know how well your decisions have worked out for you in the past." She scolded me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked her lightly, but the room had gone silent and it was obvious this was turning into something fast.

"Well I vividly remember bailing you out of a jail cell a couple of years ago, picking you up from a club pissed out of your head and pulling you off of a girl you were beating the crap out of, all in not even the space of a week Kyah." Leah's voice sounded acidic as she recalled staying with me in New York.

"Yeah and when you had finished trying to stop me that week, you joined me, remember."

We stared at each other hard eyed, blank faced for what felt like forever before she backed down and looked at her plate. "Yes, I remember. Doesn't mean any of it was right though."

"I'm not saying it was. You experienced NYC, I lived it, you don't need to reprimand me or babysit me Leah, and we both know that I can look after myself perfectly well on my own."

"You shouldn't have to." Her voice was small and weak and I felt guilty for it.

"Yes, I should." I said bluntly before turning my back to the room filled with staring eyes and began to eat my waffles. _I am completely in love with the guy who invented waffles._

As I was washing my plate in the sink my phone started to vibrate on the counter. "It's Q." Leah said, "he rang earlier too but I let it go to voicemail."

I sat down on the stool I had occupied only minutes earlier, pressed the answer button and held the phone up to my ear, leaning back against the counter and facing the overflowing front room. "Hey." I said glumly, missing him already.

"Hi pretty girl." Quentin's voice rang through the phone and my heart beat fastened. "I rang earlier and you didn't answer." He questioned me.

"Yeah I was sleeping." The room had once again turned silent and its occupants were trying not to look in my direction but I knew they were listening in.

"Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded. "You're nodding aren't you." I nodded again. "I can't see you sweetie."

"Right, sorry." My voice was distant and my head wasn't really in the conversation, but hearing his voice made me feel so much better.

He laughed a little. "You wana talk about it?"

"No. I'm okay."

"So what's it like there?" He asked, worry clear in his voice.

"It's great actually. Kind of beautiful and as far as I can remember it hasn't changed at all."

"You weren't expecting it to have changed." He reminded me and I could hear the smile in his voice, making me smile back at him.

"No I wasn't." There was noise in the background and I recognised the voices of some of my friends back home.

"Lucas and Hayley say hi and that they miss you already." He told me, his voice smouldering and I matched the voice to a mental image of the look on his face that went with that sound.

"Me too." I sounded sad. _Damn it! _

"You can always come home." He told me. "I want you to come back to me. You've been gone too long already and I'm not me without you."

"You goofball" I laughed at him.

"You know it's true baby girl." _Man I love him so much._ I pictured his dark skin, his full lips, and his dark brown eyes. _Mental sigh._

"I know, but I'm going to stay. I think I need to."

"Okay." This time he sounded sad. "I gotta go." He told me.

"Basketball?" I asked.

"Yep. But I love you pretty girl."

I giggled a little. "More than basketball?"

"Way more than basketball." He smiled.

I smiled back. "Good. I love you too."

"Bye."

The line went dead and I looked down at my lap for a moment before taking my phone away from my face. I let me face go blank before looking back up at the crowded room.

"I guess we should have known that a girl who looks like that was never going to be single." I heard Embry mutter. _Awkward! _

I looked around at the group of people in front of me. Sam looked a mixture between angry and understanding and sad and he looked back at me as if he wanted me to know something. The girls look uncertain, whereas majority of the guys looked pissed off to say the least. I looked over to Leah; she smiled sadly at me before looking over to someone. My eyes followed her gaze and landed on Jacob. He was staring at me; darkness filling his face, his body was shaking much like it had the day before in my bedroom and his eyes glared at me.

"I'm going to take Rupert for a walk." I muttered before heading for the door.

"Rupert. Come!" I called front the open front door as I pulled on a coat I had hung up there yesterday. He found me immediately and we set out exploring La Push to escape the staring from the people Sue calls our family. _We're not even related to them!_ I thought-fumed as I walked.

We were gone a long time, taking a trip around La Push, walking along the beach, through the small town and around the houses. I'm not going to lie, I am pretty sure I got lost, but I ended up following Rupert back to my new home.

Entering the house, it was clear most of them had left, there was an eerie silence now occupying it. I cleaned off Rupert's paws and removed my shoes and coat before heading back into the front room to find Seth and Leah on the sofa staring at the TV which wasn't even turned on. Sue wasn't here and I looked towards the window noticing her car was gone too.

I slowly walked into the room taking a seat in the furthest chair away from them but turned to look at them all the same. Now that I could see their faces, I noticed that they were glaring directly ahead of them neither one moving except to breathe.

"Is one of you going to explain what I did wrong?" I asked them gingerly.

"You didn't do anything wrong". Leah muttered breaking her glare to look at me. For what felt like the millionth time since I arrived here yesterday I gave her the I-don't-believe-you face. "It's just complicated." She sighed.

"What is?" I asked her trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Don't joke about this." Seth's voice was hard and icey and I wanted to wince away from it but I held my place and kept my face blank.

"Well I don't know what's going on and I don't particularly want to know. I'm here for a year and then I will be out of your way. You won't even have to know that I'm here for the most part." I said coldly before standing up and marching to the door and the direction of my room.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Seth and Leah both came to talk to me many times over the next couple of weeks, but when I wasn't eating a meal or out taking Rupert for a walk, I resided in my bedroom, occupying myself with my reading list for my senior year and mostly trying to pretend like I wasn't really there. My parents had taught me both English and the native tribal language growing up because they wanted to me know where I came from and I focused on trying to remember as much of it as possible asking Sue for help every now and again just in case I would need it at school. She told me over and over again that I didn't need to worry and that half the tribe barely remembered the language anymore but that wasn't really the point. My parents had wanted me to come back here for a reason if they died and I had a year to figure out what they wanted me to learn.

Coming up with a blank I asked Sue the morning I was due to start school.

"Maybe they just wanted you to like it here; I guess they thought you'd be safe and happy here and with family. They probably didn't want you to be alone. It was something that they asked of Harry and I when you were only a couple of months old and I guess they just never changed their mind, even after they left."

"I think there's more to it than that. They changed their will not too long before they died and they knew I would have a home with the people who became our family in NYC and they knew how much I loved it there, I had everything there. They made me come here for more than just to be with family because I have family in New York too." I argued.

"They may feel like family to you but they aren't your blood sweetie." I look at her disbelievingly. _They might as well be, I know them a hundred times better than I know Sue. It's like living with strangers. _"You and Seth should get going or you'll be late. He wants a lift with you, normally the guys come and pick him up but it doesn't seem worth it if you're driving anyway. Is that okay?"

I nodded. "I'll wait for him in the car." I told her before grabbing my bag and heading out the door.

Moments later Seth was climbing into the car with a huge grin on his face. "What?" I asked him.

"You are going to get eaten alive today. Don't worry, I'll protect you." He laughed.

I gave him a confused look before pulling out of the driveway. He directed me towards the school but I had passed it enough times whilst walking Rupert over the past couple of weeks for it to be unnecessary. I pulled into a car parking space and shut off the engine. I grabbed my bag out of the backseat and locked the car as Seth directed me over to the office to get my schedule.

"Nervous?" He grinned over at me.

"Mmmm, not really. Doesn't really feel like I'm walking around a school. Where are the metal detectors and the guards and the dogs looking for drugs?" I asked him dead seriously.

He burst out laughing directing a lot of attention at us. "We aren't in a movie! …" I didn't laugh, I was being serious. "We don't have any of that here, idiot. La Push is a good place."

"Right…" I mumbled.

We walked into English and he gestured for me to take a seat next to him.

"There's no assigned seating… What's up… you seem quiet?" He asked turning towards me.

I looked around the room to find Jacob, Quil and Embry sat in the corner. I turn back to him. "You can go and sit with them, it's okay." I tell him. He shook his head at me. "I thought you were younger than me?" I asked.

"I am… but I'm too clever for this school." He said giving me a cocky grin.

"You jumped a grade?" I asked him surprised.

"Yep. Now are you going to tell me what's wrong or will I have to find out from Leah?" He asked me in an almost threatening tone.

I sighed. "I broke up with Quentin." I told him.

"What?! I thought you were completely in love with him?" Seth asked me shock evident on his face and in his voice.

"I was... Am." I told him sadly. "Something changed when I came here. It's like I still love him, but just not in the same way. He had the cheek to ask me if I've met someone here!"

"Well you have, haven't you?" His face clouded with slight confusion.

"Sure, I've met lots of people, like all of your friends, but not in the way he meant." I told Seth.

"You think you'll get back together?" He asked me as he glanced over in his friends' direction.

"No, I don't, and I don't think we're supposed to." My voice was quiet and filled with certainty.

"How come?" Seth asked curious.

"People always leave, I guess maybe it was my turn to leave instead of always being left." I smiled at him sadly.

"But you love New York and your friends." He said.

"I know, but the second they died, everything changed, it's not my home anymore."

"Here is?" He asked me hopefully.

"I duno, I guess we will see."

"Well that's kind of heavy for this early in the morning." He joked.

"You asked." I told him before settling in to make notes about Romeo and Juliet as our teacher spoke.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

What started off as an okay first week of a new school soon turned horrible when Seth decided he'd skip school for a while. I had ended up trying to find my classes on my own, which turned out pretty easy as the school was so small. I had to sit on my own and try to pretend like I wasn't really there because I didn't know anyone. After a day of this I was ready to pack up my stuff – not that I had really unpacked much – and head back to New York. It may not be my home anymore but at least I had friends there. _No. I have to stay. They wanted me to come here. _I told myself this over and over again as I forced myself into the car and drove towards the school, alone, again.

I sighed as the bell for the end of English sounded. Packing my notes and book into my bag I stood to leave.

"Hi." I looked up at a bronze skinned boy who had sat a couple of rows down from me for the past couple of days. "I'm Logan. I think we have nearly all of our classes together." He was right; I had noticed him when looking around for familiar faces I knew I wouldn't find. I nodded at him as I grabbed my bag. He turned to walk with me. "I figured maybe you could use some company."

_Oh thank god! _"That would kinda be great actually." I smiled warmly at him. "People here don't seem so open to new comers." I told him.

"Yeah they kinda aren't, they are curious about you, but people here are too – I don't know, something – to actually talk to you." He seemed angry about it.

"Well at least I'm not a white girl living here right?" I tried to joke with him. He gave me a what-the-hell-you're-racist face. I laughed at him. "I'm joking. Just people are avoiding me and I actually come from here and have family here, so if I was like – white – I guess it would be much worse… right?" _Awkward!_

He nodded at me understandingly, relief obvious on his face and mine. "Right… Well I guess… I don't think they let outsiders live here." Logan went quiet for a moment, glancing around us as people stared.

"You don't have to talk to me if it's too awkward for you, or if it's going to cause you trouble."

"It's no trouble at all. They all just wish they had the guts to do it themselves." He smiled warmly at me as we entered the class for Biology. "You know I was surprised by you." He told me conversationally.

"Really, why?" I asked uncertainly.

"You seem pretty normal, no crazy tattoos, no piercings; you don't look like you're on drugs. Maybe we have a bad idea of the city."

I laughed. "You don't, trust me."

"So you are a druggy then?" Logan asked me, the words sound way too uncomfortable coming from him.

"Nope." I said shaking my head slightly. "But as for the other stuff, just because you can't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there." I smiled knowing that I was giving him exactly the information he wanted to go back and tell all his friends. At least I could mess with these people a little bit, for funsies.

He smiled at me and nodded, "maybe you'd be better off in the La Push gang with your cousins then." He joked.

"What?" I asked him confused.

"What, you don't know?" I just shook my head. "Well, have you met their friends?" He asked, I nodded. "Everyone calls them the La Push gang. They only hang out with each other and they're so secretive, always whispering about something. Everyone presumes they're all on drugs or something." I laughed out loud at that.

"They're not. I'd be able to tell." Logan nodded at me as if he believed me.

"Well, do you know what's going on with them?" he asked. I shook my head no. _I don't want to either. _"I just hope that they don't drag you into it." He sounded genuine. _They won't. _

Over a week passed like that, Logan introduced me to his friends; let me sit with him at lunch and during classes. We talked a lot and got along really well, we had the same taste in music, and films and similar love for basketball. _Even if my love for it did come from Quentin. _We laughed and joked and the week picked up again thanks to him. Every morning he waited for me in the same car parking space, right next to his old truck and we'd go meet his friends, Lewis, Ollie, Lily and Eva. They were all really cool and accepted me the moment I had sat down with them at lunch.

Monday morning again, I had been going to this school for a few weeks and already it felt like a lifetime. I pulled into the school grounds, this time with Seth chatting happily in the seat next to me. I had forgiven him for leaving me as soon as I made friends of my own. Maybe it was a good thing he hadn't been around, I would have just gotten pulled into his comfort zone and not found my own.

Seth was too busy talking animatedly to notice that Logan was waiting for me as we pulled into the car parking space. I grabbed my bag from the back seat and slammed the door shut still listening to him ramble on about god knows what. _Man he can talk. _

He started to walk off but stopped when he realised I wasn't following him. "You coming or what?" He asked as he gestured over to his group of friends, Jacob, Embry, Quil, Colin and Brady all watching and waiting patiently for us.

"Ummm… no." _Damn it! _I said as I walked around the car to the other side. I smiled over at Seth before turning to Logan. "Hi." My smile grew into a grin, I was weirdly glad to be back.

"Hey!" He grinned happily back at me before continuing. "Ready?" He asked.

"Yep." And we headed off. I turned to look over my shoulder. O_h no! He looks so shocked and kinda sad… No! Do not feel guilty, he just left me!_ "Meet you here after school." I called to Seth before turning back to Logan to begin another one of our long discussions about music.

"Hiiii!" Lily and Eva squealed in my ear as they grabbed me into a three person hug. _Awkward. _I pulled away from them rubbing my ears to rid them of the ringing from their high pitched girly voices. _Headache forming. They really need to stop doing that. _I returned the way-too-happy-for-the-morning hello's before the six of us headed towards the sanctuary of the school as the rain started to beat harder.

Once inside our English class, Logan and I took our seats near the centre of the room where it would be warmest and continued our long – now argument – about whose favourite band was better and trying to get the other to change their mind. I stopped mid-sentence as Seth and 'the others' – I now called them – walked in, Seth glaring at me and Logan. I smiled up at him a little but his anger was evident and a little intimidating.

I looked over to Logan and gave him an apologetic look. "You didn't tell him you made friends, huh?" Logan asked already knowing the answer. I shook my head. "Yeah they kinda hate me…" he trailed off.

"Why?" I asked confused. _How could anyone hate Logan? _

"I'm not entirely sure what happened really. I got into a disagreement with Jacob a year back and well that was kind of it. They try to be all intimidating and whatever, but they don't scare me like they do everyone else and they don't like it. Like somehow it makes me some sort of threat to them." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "They're like animals in that way, I guess."

_Animals? _I had spent all of like a day with them and had noticed that they do have animalistic qualities, I'm just surprised I'm not the only one to notice._ They seemed to save that behaviour for when they are in the company of each other only. Man I have spent way too much time paying attention to them. 'No you haven't, you've spent way too much time paying attention to Jacob.' No, I spent a day with him and the others were there too. 'He was the only one you really paid attention to and you know it'. Great now I'm having conversations with myself like a crazy person!_

Finally school ended and I was leaning against my car facing Logan who was also leaning against his, discussing the essay due for English. Seth came storming up to us through the drizzle, staring hard at me. "Get in." He said through bared teeth, his body shaking a little as he waited.

I smiled up at Logan before slowly pulling myself off of my car and walked around to the driver's side before sinking into the warm dryness of my car. I turned to look at Seth, who was somehow already in his seat comfortably, and staring out of the windscreen. His fists we balled and his body still shaking lightly. I sighed before turning and heading for home.

I managed to walk through the front door and remove my shoes and coat before Seth turned on me. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" he yelled.

"Nothing?" I was uncertain. _What's wrong with you more like?_

"LOGAN CHASE?" He yelled at me again. I was confused. "Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?"

"It's called making friends… When the only person you know in the school decides skipping the first week or so is a good idea you kinda have no choice but to make new friends."

"Making new friends is fine Kyah. But Logan Chase? Logan Chase!" Y_ou can stop saying his name already! "_Logan Chase is not a good friend for you."

"I think I am quite capable of deciding that for myself thanks." I argued back, feeling the anger building inside me.

"HE JUST WANTS TO GET IN YOUR PANTS!" Seth yelled exasperatedly. _You can say that about any guy that talks to a girl. Well as long as they aren't related… ewwww… Oh god, Lily and Eva are turning me into a girl that says ewww! Urgh that's so wrong!_

"Every guy wants that, doesn't mean it will happen." I muttered, kind of embarrassed now.

Seth's expression changed slightly, it was still unreadable to me. "You don't know what he's like." Seth said his tone was remorseful.

"Actually, I know a lot about him, we have a lot in common. But that doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with him Seth. He's my friend, and that is all he will ever be to me, whether he likes it or not."

Seth didn't look convinced. "I don't like him and I don't want you hanging around with him."

"You can't exactly stop me!" I told him.

"Why can't you just stay with us?" He whined. I gave him a the-last-time-I-checked-they-all-hated-me face. "They don't hate you; it was a minor misunderstanding that has been completely cleared up. Please! Just try hanging out with us tomorrow?"

He gave me the puppy dog eyes. _Urgh I can never say no to a good puppy dog eyes. Damn those eyes! _"Okay, fine." I said slightly bitterly.

He rushed forwards and grabbed me up into the tightest bear hug. "Can't – breath …". He let go to look down and me, his face beaming and the biggest grin forming there. "Urgh… I have homework to do." I said before stomping up the stairs in defeat.

Driving to school the next day was horrible. I had text Logan to let him know Seth had talked me into hanging out with him and 'the others' and that it probably wouldn't be a good idea to wait for me in the morning. Seth had this huge smug grin on his face as I pulled into my usual car parking space and he saw Logan walking away from his car. _Urgh. This sucks already. _It took actual effort to pull myself out of the car along with my bag and heave myself around the car to join Seth. I was pissed off and I would make sure he knew it.

'The others' began to walk towards us and I inwardly moaned, _why did I have to agree to this? _Jacob was the first to reach us, a smile pulled across his face as I looked up at him. It hit me again just how beautiful this boy was, his russet skin glistened in the misty rain and his muscles flexed as he hoisted his bag to a more comfortable position. My knees went weak as I looked up into his deep brown eyes and found myself getting lost in them. _Wow!_ I couldn't form a coherent thought as I stood there staring up at him like an idiot, but he stared back just the same. Unwilling to look away, I didn't move a muscle; I just stood there frozen to the spot looking at him.

Someone cleared their throat. "Ummm… guys? We should probably get inside."

I followed the sounds of the voices as I tried to shake the feelings growing inside of me, the feelings for Jacob Black. I wanted him, I needed him, and I felt like I couldn't live without him. He made me weak in the knees but I had never felt stronger, he made me want to burst out laughing for absolutely no reason, I was just that happy. But mostly I wanted to run to him, to throw my arms around him, to feel his around me and to kiss him like I'd never kissed someone before, a kiss full of passion and fire and love.

Before I even knew it I was already seated in English class right next to Jacob. _Oh he's not close enough… Stop thinking like that, you can't have him! A guy like that would never choose you! _I sighed.

"Are you okay?" he was looking at me with a concerned look on his face, his gorgeous husky voice sent shivers down my spine. I could do nothing but nod at him a little and try not to make eye contact with him; I really needed to concentrate on my classes this year. "Are you sure? You seem a bit spaced out."

I looked over to him. _Damn it! _"I'm fine…" My voice was breathy. "Just a little… annoyed with Seth." I finished quickly with a lie.

Jacobs face fell. "You don't want to hang out with me?" He asked sorrow clouding that gorgeous husky voice and beautiful face.

"What?" I stuttered, confused. "No… I mean yes… I mean…" _Breathe and think Kyah. _"I am perfectly happy to hang out with you guys, Seth just shouldn't be asking me to, to keep me away from Logan. He doesn't really want me here."

Jacob beamed at me. "He does want you here, we all do. You're part of our family too, you're meant to be with us, not _him_." The way Jacob said the word "him" was dripping with malice, it made me shiver and not in the good way that his gentle husky voice makes me shiver, in the he's-dangerous-and-he-knows-it way.

I tried to brush it off. "Mmmm, he said you didn't like him much…" I trailed off.

"Did he tell you why?" Jacob's voice was dark with hatred as he glared at Logan's back. I shook my head. "A load of the kids from school went up to Port Angeles this time a year ago, like a start of year celebration. I caught Logan forcing himself on a girl who doesn't go here. She was trying to push him off her, telling him to stop and he wouldn't, so I got involved."

My jaw had dropped, I could feel it. _Shit. _"That's why I don't want you hanging around him. That's why Seth got so pissed off that you had chosen him of all people to become friends with." Jacob finished.

"He chose me…" I trailed off. This seemed to send Jacob over the edge, his body was shaking hard, his hand gripped the small table he was squeezed behind and I'm pretty sure I heard it crack and splinter underneath the pressure. My eyes widened as I realised that he wouldn't calm down unless I made him. "I'll stay away from him… I promise." I looked up into Jacobs brown eyes and mine seemed to relay the sincerity of my promise because the shaking soon dissipated and Jacob no longer needed to grip the table like he had been.

"You'll stay with me?" He asked. _What's all this " You don't want to hang out with _**me**_?", "_**I** _don't want you hanging around with him", "You'll stay with _**me**_?" business? What am I – his? Well maybe being his wouldn't be so bad… Shut up, stupid idiot! _

I think I had paused too long to think all of this because his face had dropped again, he looked heart-broken. "Yeah, I'll stay with you." I whispered back to him, my voice was unable to do much more than that. I felt my heart begin to race as the grin grew on his face taking my breath away. I giggled _urgh like a three year old – nice Kyah! _

"What's funny?" He whisper-yelled over the isle to me.

"You need to stop doing that!" I whisper-yelled back.

"Doing what?" His face clouded with confusion.

"Taking my breath away." I mumbled. The grin on his face grew even bigger. _Shit, he heard that! Now what do I do?! _I smiled over to him shyly before turning my attention – well as much of my attention as possible – to Romeo and Juliet. _Damn it, I've practically missed the important part of the class! _I face palmed myself which earned a chuckle from Jacob and made me smile. _I could get used to that laugh. _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I was sprawled across my bed, texts books and other reading material open and pieces of paper surrounding me. It was Friday night and as I had no real friends I was deep in thought, doing an extremely long English assignment. I had been at it for hours already and was still only half way through. My black, thick rimmed reading glasses which were almost geeky but suited me and which I very rarely wore were sat haphazardly on my nose, constantly feeling as if they were in the way. I needed to get used to wearing these again now that school had started back up.

There was a sharp tap at my door, I figured it was Seth so I ignored it thinking he was just coming to rub it in my face that he had places to be and I didn't. Another sharp tap sounded and I sighed agitated, not liking to be disturbed when I was this deep into my essays. I continued to write, thinking he'd given up. This time it was a loud knocking.

"What?!" I yelled throwing a pillow towards the opening door in frustration.

Through the door came Jacob Black, shirtless, muscles rippling as he caught the pillow and tossed it back at me. I somehow managed to catch it before it ruined the messy organisation of the study material strewn across my bed and set it back down carefully before pulling myself off of my stomach to sit cross legged in the centre of my bed staring at him over the top of my glasses. Subconsciously, I knew I looked ridiculous when I looked over the top of them like this but they make things blurry the further away you were looking and Jacob Black is not someone you look at through blurry glasses.

I think we both realised at the same time that neither of us had said anything yet and he started to shuffle towards me, looking at my bed like he wanted to sit. I sighed and moved a text book or two out of his way. He sat down and turned as much of his body towards me as possible. I pushed my glasses up my face to lean on my head also aiding in keeping my dishevelled hair out of my face. He shook his head a little, I guess to clear it of whatever he was thinking before opening his mouth to speak.

"Sue sent me up; I hope I'm not interrupting." His husky voice sent the familiar shiver down my spine and his face seemed serene enough that I believed he really hoped this.

"You are." I sighed. "But it's okay, I'm getting to the point where I can't write anymore anyway. Probably best to quit whilst I'm ahead at the minute."

"Well in that case, I'm glad I interrupted." He smiled brilliantly at me, obviously happy he'd helped me out in some weird way.

Silence filled the room for a while as he looked at me, expecting me to say something I guess. _He came here, now he's expectant of me like I just walked into his bedroom! _I fumed, slightly flustered under his stare. It wasn't a horrible stare, in fact it was more of an I'm-completely-in-love-with-you-stare.

"Are you going to tell me why you're here?" I questioned trying to break the silence.

"Oh, right…" _Does he seem nervous? I think so… _"Well, I wanted to see how you are…" He trailed off, his face looking disappointed.

"You saw me a couple of hours ago at school. Not much has changed." I told him. He just nodded. I had to break the silence again. "Is there something you want Jacob? You don't have to feel bad, you can just ask, you're the closest thing I have to a friend here, so go ahead."

He smiled that brilliant smile again, if I was standing, he would have swept me off my feet. "We're all your friends!" He seemed taken aback by my comment. I said nothing, did nothing, still reeling from his gorgeous smile. "Well I guess I will just come out with it… I figured you'd be here alone so thought I would come get you." He definitely looked nervous. _Come get me for what? _

"Where are you taking me?" I asked unsure.

"I don't know yet, but figured you might want to hang out with me… Kinda beats sitting here doing the English assignment."

I nodded, and started piling up my books and pieces of paper. I took them over to the desk and set them down gently, trying to ensure I didn't lose my pages. I looked down at myself, I was wearing dark blue jeans and a black band t-shirt which hung relatively loose at the time but was tight around my waist and hips. I took the glasses off my head, letting my hair fall down around my face and looked up at Jacobs staring eyes.

"Do I need to change?" I asked him. He shook his head still looking at me, his deep brown eyes full of love and adoration and I knew mine were showing him exactly the same things back. _I shouldn't be letting myself fall for him. It will only end badly. I just can't help it. _"Okay…"

He seemed to snap out of it. "You might want to grab a jumper or something though." _I could listen to his voice all day. _

I smiled at him and grabbed a khaki coloured cardigan from the back of my chair pulling it on uncomfortably over the top. Jacob stood then and headed for the door seemingly having to tear his eyes from me.

I followed him down the stairs, waving at Sue and out the front door. He was stood by the passenger side of his VW Rabbit holding the door open for me to get in. I smiled at him as I passed and sat down into the surprisingly comfortable seat. The car smelled amazing, of gasoline and the forest after it rains, Jacob climbed into the car and the scent increased and I realised that this was his smell. I inhaled deeply soaking it up as he started to drive away. I wanted to remember this smell, I needed to remember it.

All too soon the car stopped and Jacob was climbing out of the car. I scurried to follow him and he waited for me at the front. "I'm sorry, I spaced out on you didn't I?" I asked trying to cover for myself.

He chucked deeply. "A little, but it's okay, it just means you're comfortable enough with me to not be worrying about awkward silences and stuff." He smiled again making my knees go weak and I begged myself not to stumble into him. I smiled timidly up at him. "Come on, I want to take you somewhere." He said as he smiled down at me.

The sun had set by now and the darkness was rolling in around us. I looked around as I walked beside Jacob and realised he had bought me to the beach. He lead my across the sand diagonally towards the ocean and seemed to know where he was going. After a couple of minutes he stopped and sat down on a drift wood log, looking up at me, he patted the space next to him.

I sat down a little closer than I thought I would be and blushed a little. _Urhg I hope my hair hides that! _He was so warm, I could feel the heat radiate off of his skin and I welcomed it, wishing he would wrap his arms around me to keep me warm. I shivered a little as the sea breeze whipped around us suddenly and what I had wished for came true as Jacob wrapped his largely muscled arm around my waist, pulling me into his side.

"This is my favourite place in the world." He mumbled to me looking out at the choppy grey waves.

I looked up at his face, it was calm and clear. "Why?" I asked him.

"Many reasons really. Most of the memories I have of my mum are here and this is where I first met Embry and Quil. This is where lots of good things happen. I come here to think about stuff when it all gets too much, you know?"

He looked down at me and smiled sweetly. I nodded at him. "Definitely seems like a good place to go to me." I said placing my head in his chest, taking in his smell, listening to his heartbeat. This moment just felt right.

A comfortable silence fell between us and I happily sat cuddled up to Jacob. He looked out at the ocean, which is probably what I was supposed to be doing but I couldn't help but look up at him instead. The moonlight shone on his face, lighting him up. _What an angel, _I thought to myself. _He is so perfect. A God. _I sighed content with my place in life for a moment. I hadn't felt this way in a long time.

I continued to watch his face for a while, different emotions splashed across it, most left as quickly as they appeared. Finally he settled on one, and I had no idea what it was. It troubled me a little that I couldn't read these thoughts, that I had no idea what he could possibly be thinking. I had to know…

"What you thinking about?" I mumbled up at him, curiosity filling my voice.

"mmmm…" He hummed, I felt the vibration in his chest… "You". His voice was so quiet on that last part that I almost didn't catch it. _Almost._

"Me?" I asked incredulously and uncertainly.

He nodded.

"What about me?" _You probably don't really want to know that answer. What if he's thinking you're a complete weirdo for cuddling up to him, he almost a complete stranger. No he's not, sue showed me the pictures if when I was a toddler with Jacob, Seth and Leah. That doesn't make him not a stranger now. Does too! I really need to stop arguing with myself like this._

"I just…. I…. I think you're beautiful."

My jaw dropped as I looked up at him in disbelief. He smiled down at me that gorgeous smile. I stuttered "I'm… Me…. Beautiful?" My brain couldn't register this, coming from the most beautiful person I had ever and will ever see. He nodded in confirmation. I shook my head. "No." I shook my head again.

"You are… I can't believe I'm here with you" He paused. "I finally found you."

It is safe to say at this point I was definitely confused. The compliment from him meant more than from any other person who had said such a thing. He looked down at me and our eyes met. I gazed up into his deep brown eyes, completely taken in by their secrets, their beauty. In that moment I felt like I was looking right into him, seeing his heart and soul and he was doing the same with me. In that moment we connected in a way I didn't even know was possible.

Before I knew it I was leaning up to his face, pulling mine in closer to him, and he was doing the same, we were inches apart, eyes still glued on each other. _Oh my god, is he about to kiss me?! _My mind was racing as was my heart, I felt dizzy and hyper aware of the situation at hand.

I barely recognised the sound of voices in the background over the waves but Jacob must have done because his head snapped up from mine in the direction of the noise. I pulled away from him and turned to look at what he was seeing. I wasn't exactly sure who they were, but I could see the shirtless men in the distance and knew fully well that 'the others' were around and that mine and Jakes alone time was about to come to a very abrupt end.

I pulled myself completely out of Jacobs grasp a moment later and shifted myself slightly along the log. I caught the look on Jacobs face as I turned to look back at the water; distress is the only word I could use to describe it.

"I'm sorry" He muttered and I could hear anger in his voice.

"Don't be, probably wasn't the best idea anyway." I tried to be matter of fact about it but this seemed to distress Jacob more.

"Why?" His body shook slightly.

"I have less than a year here. Seems silly to get attached."

"No it doesn't." He whispered but I heard it.

Before long the others were crowded around us, sitting on the cold sand, talking amongst themselves. I tried to interact with them. _I cannot believe all of this just happened. What was I thinking? I cannot fall for Jacob Black. You keep telling yourself that and getting nowhere with it. You like him already and there is nothing you can do about it. I can't like him like that already; we don't really know each other. We have a connection. I have to leave. You don't have to do anything. Urgh!_

The conversations continued but I was in my own head. By the time I tried to focus on what everyone was talking about it was too late. I was completely lost so I just sat there listening to them bicker whilst trying to figure out what I'd missed.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Life seemed to calm down quite a lot after the night at the beach. At school I would helplessly follow the boys around. At home, well at Sue's, I would attempt to hide in my room, but the shirtless muscular men would barge in, pretty much all the time and insist on making sure I didn't study, I didn't do my homework and that I "have fun".

Things got messier too though, the longer I stay the less likely it seems I will leave. Something is keeping me here. _Yeah Jacob. No, not Jacob. You're lying to yourself again. Urgh_! Back home things were far more simple, kids go to school, go to college, get a job. In that order, no variations. Here in La Push, it is very different, they tend to skip the college part. Most don't have the money to send their kids to college, and the ones that do are either too dumb to go or too lazy. Now I find myself wondering if I want to go to med school at all. It was more my parents dream that I become some hot shot rich doctor. Sure, I have it in me to go, I'm smarter than you'd think but I find myself unwilling to leave now that I'm here. They sent me here for a reason, but it's no use telling myself that over and over really, they're gone and I'll never be able to ask them why. So now I've decided to decide for myself, I have the rest of the academic year to decide to stay or go or just move elsewhere, college isn't a must these days.

There was a knock on my door that pulled me out of these distressed thoughts. I looked up at it wondering who would be knocking, the guys tend to just barge straight in most of the time. It knocked again. _Oh, right_. "Yeah?"

The door slowly opened and I found Jacob on the other side of it. My heart instantly raced and my head instantly reeled. He looked as beautiful as always as he stood in the doorway, unsure whether or not he should come in. I mentally moaned. _Why does he do this to me?!_

"I just wondered if you'd like some company?"

"Sure." I nodded at him._ What else was I supposed to say. I can't think straight when he's around and looking like that!_

He came in, closing the door behind himself and perched on the bed beside me. "What you up to?" He asked, his husky voice sending chills down my spine.

I shrugged. "Not much really".

Silence filled the room but it wasn't an awkward one, it was quite peaceful really. I flopped onto my back to stare at the ceiling and he joined me, his arm brushed against mine and the warmth of his body spread into me. I sighed, content with the peace and the warmth Jacob always seems to bring me. From the corner of my eye I noticed his head turn towards me, I let him watch me for a moment before turning to look at him too.

"What's bothering you?" He asked me, concern covering his perfect features.

"Just don't know what to do." I admitted openly.

"About what?"

I paused and didn't answer him for a while. "College." His face darkened and eyes squinted for a moment as if college was the worst thing anyone could ever do. "I don't think I want to go anymore, but I feel like I'm letting them down somehow if I don't go."

His face changed then, he seemed happy by my uncertainty. _Men..._ "Why don't you want to go?" He almost sounded eager.

I shrugged. "Just feel like I need to stay here. I don't really know why. I just feel like even if I did want to go I couldn't. Like I'm supposed to be here... You think they knew I'd want to stay once I got here?" I asked him.

He nodded. "It's entirely possible." What wasn't he telling me? There was a pause. "They knew a lot about our tribe. Your mum was our tribes historian after all... Maybe... It is definitely possible... She might have known..." He trailed off.

"This will sound stupid." I said after a little while of Jacob's deep in thought expression.

"Go ahead..."

"You think... She might have thought that I'd find true love here?" I asked him, very uncertainly.

"What makes you say that?" He asked, curiosity filling his deep husky voice.

"Just, she always told me, "the one for you isn't here sweetie, he's at home", I mimicked her voice. "Almost like she knew I was always going to come home... Plus, she fell in love here." I told him, "worked out well for her."

"What would you think if I told you that that's almost definitely the reason she sent you home?" He asked his voice seeming deeper, like there was so much more behind his words.

"I'd say, whoever he is, is an unlucky man."

Jacob chuckled, shaking the entire bed. "Typical..." He murmured, amused. "Why is that?"

"I don't believe in falling in love." It was very matter of fact of me.

His jaw dropped a little, like that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. "Why not?" His voice was serious, low and demanding.

"I just think, it's just lust and romance, and sure, love. But that deep meaningful connection, the I'd die for you in a heartbeat love like Romeo and Juliet... S'not real. Life isn't a fairy tale, if it were, my parents would be here."

He seemed thoughtful for a moment. Before declaring, "it is real, and i'll prove it to you." He seemed very certain.

I giggled. "And how exactly are you going to do that?" I asked amused.

"I'll make you fall in love." He nodded as if to prove a point.

I laughed again. "With who?" Thinking he'd shrug or tell me he didn't know yet.

"With me."

[OOC: Christmas entry! Hope you liked it! Will post again for new year (Embry fans) merry Christmas everyone. Please review!]


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The shock was still evident in my body for days after Jacob's declaration. I hadn't known what to say to him, shock pierced my body like a knife, I froze, my brain just stopped and I just lay there, staring at him. He smiled sweetly at me before turning to look back up at the ceiling._ What does this mean? Does this mean that he has feelings for me? Feelings that far out do friendship? Surely it must, but it makes absolutely no sense. Jacob Black could not want me, not in that way._ Though plenty of friends and family would disagree with me, I am normal, plain. There's nothing at all special about me, not compared to other girls._ So what is he thinking?!_ I feel much like a broken record at the moment, when I'm awake I think of Jacob, much like this, going over and over what he said to me. And when I am asleep, the nightmares continue to haunt my dreams, to the extent that I was used to having very little sleep by now.

My world seemed to have been tipped upside down by a man. _Not just any man. _I never thought I'd be the type to sit in my room day dreaming about a fairy tale ending to the madness we call life. I was brought up to not want to be the princess, saved by a prince, but this seems to be what I have become. _And what a prince Jacob is!_

I had taken a walk down to the beach, trying to clear my head of Jacob Black. It wasn't helping much. I sighed heavily staring out at the grey waves washing up on the shore, it sent shivers down my spine. As usual it was wet, windy and cold, but I wasn't too bothered by it, I liked it here on the beach. I stood silently for quite some time, watching the waves, allowing my mind to drift off to where ever it wanted to go, of course that was to Jacob. My long, dark hair blew out behind me and the cool breeze washed over my skin.

Suddenly, I was aware that I wasn't alone. Next to me stood a very tall, very muscular man. I couldn't help but turn and stare, he was tall and slender, with russet coloured skin, long rounded muscles, brown eyes and cropped black hair. I took in everything about him, before smiling up at him. Embry Call. Gorgeous, just as all of Jacobs friends were, but none really compared to Jacob himself. We didn't speak for a while, then from the corner of my eye I caught him turning towards me.

"What ya doing?" He broke the silence, smile widening on his face.

I shrugged. "Not much, wanted to get out of the house."

"Do you come here a lot?" He asked me curiously.

I nodded and we stood there in silence staring out at the waves for a while.

Embry had been silent in his approach, I couldn't really be sure how long he'd been stood next to me before I noticed him. He was the shy one, pretty quiet most of the time, but he seemed to like it that way. I think the silence got to him after some time because he started talking to me. He asked me about my interests and I told him I loved art and music, the music we had in common but not so much the art. He told me about his interest in cars and admitted that it was really only because Jacob and Quil had forced it into him. And that was it really, I couldn't get him to stop talking after that and I didn't really want him to, we talked and laughed the day away, it was as if I had always known him.

It didn't take me long to discover how caring Embry was, and the way he described Quil and Jake made me think it was a trait neither of them respected much of him. I didn't like that, he seemed like the type of person anyone, any man, should aspire to be like, strong but cautious, caring but able to put that aside when necessary.

"Bertrand Russell, a British philosopher once said that to fear love us to fear life. And those who fear life at already dead." I told Embry,

He nodded, "bit random" he said.

"Mmmm, I guess." I trailed off...

"What's your point?" He asked me. "I don't fear love at all."

I looked at him and raised one eyebrow, unconvinced. "Where is the girl of you're dreams then? If anyone's could have whoever they wanted, it would be you." I told him.

"She's around... Somewhere" he said dreamily, sounding hopeful.

"Well, maybe I should help you look for her..." I joked.

He went quiet for a moment, lost in thought. "What about you then?" He asked me.

"Huh?" I grunted, I'd been thinking about Jacob again.

"Do you fear love and are therefore dead." He was joking, his voice sounded amused, but I could tell I'd sparked an interest.

I shrugged, "I don't really know." I admitted. "I don't fear love, but I do fear what it can do to you' you know, the pain of it."

He nodded, understanding. "Is that why you keep Jake at arms length?"

I was confused by the question and didn't answer straight away. "I won't deny that I feel some sort of connection with Jacob, it would be like me denying breathing." He chuckled softly and nodded in agreement, "and he says things that make me wonder what he's thinking, you know?" Again, he nodded and said nothing. "But I don't really know what to make of any of it, or him half the time." I paused thinking. "There's something about him, nothing like I've ever seen or felt before, but that only makes me more cautious, with that kind of connection comes an incredible amount of pain."

"He would never hurt you." Embry was certain, absolutely no doubt in his mind. "Only love you." He paused. "He will spend his entire life doing whatever it takes to make you happy and keep you safe."

The words resonated through my head. "_He will spend his entire life doing whatever it takes to make you happy and keep you safe." "He will..." Will?!_

"What makes you so sure." I asked him.

"I just know Jake, and I know a lot of things you don't."

That sparked some interest, curiosity over took. "Like what?" I asked.

"Nothing I can tell you, he will, when he thinks it's time." Embry looked down at me and smiled. "Don't look so worried, you will love him soon enough."

"Don't be so sure of that." I muttered but Embry just chuckled yet again.

"Come on, I should get you home, it's getting late." He looked up at the sky, "and dark."


	8. Chapter 8

Time moved slowly over the next few days, the boys disappeared, or it seemed like it. Seth and Leah barely came home, I wasn't even sure they slept here at night. I shrugged it off, telling myself that every now and again the whole group of them seemed to be busy off doing something I wasn't involved in. It certainly wasn't the first time. I briefly wondered if I'd ever know what was going on with them, even Sue seemed to be in on it.

My thoughts were shattered by Jacob falling, hard, onto the sofa next to me. I'd been watching tv, and when I say watching tv I mean, over thinking about Jacob and the others and only pretending to watch tv. I had no clue what I was watching, which was no help when Jacob broke the completely silent room.

"What you watching?" He asked, completely uninterested.

I shrugged and turned to look at him. At first I noticed his deeply muscled arm push against mine, making my skin tingle. Heat radiated from his body and mine shivered in the enjoyment of both his warmth and his proximity. As I looked slowly up to his face I couldn't help but gasp. He had purple bags under his eyes, raw red rims circling them, he was unshaven and his hair a complete mess. He looked absolutely exhausted.

"What happened to you?" I asked, both concern and shock filling my voice.

"Haven't slept much." He tried shrugging it off.

"You look awful." I muttered taking in the sight.

"That's nice of you", he smirked but knew I was right and only worried for him.

I stood immediately and held my hand out towards him. He looked at it for quite a while before slowly placing his much larger hand in mine. I pulled slightly, knowing fully well that I didn't have the strength in me to pull him up. He caught on though and with a lot of effort on his part, pulled himself up from the sofa. I kept his warm hand firmly in mine as I started towards the door. He followed immediately without a word and I pulled him up the stairs and into my room.

I closed the door behind us, and pushed him over to my bed. He sat down instantly and just stared at me. I went over to both windows and pulled the curtains closed, the room dimmed immediately and I heard him yawn.

"Come on." I motioned him to join me as I lay down on my bed.

He did so without saying a word. I turned onto my side, using my hand to prop up my head as I looked at him. He stared up at the ceiling, sleepily. With my free hand, I very gently ran my cooler fingers over his face, his cheeks, nose, lips and finally his eyelids, forcing them to close. He sighed deeply and I allowed my fingers to travel down to his chiseled chest, feeling the muscles under the hot skin. My fingers traced patterns over his body and I felt him calm under my touch.

After a while he murmured. "You know I won't sleep and miss this right?" A slight, small smile graced his lips.

_He was forcing himself to stay awake because he was enjoying my touch! _I felt my body reel at that, my heart beat picked up its pace and in that same moment Jacobs skin seemed to get hotter.

"You need to sleep." I whispered close to his ear. I forced my body closer to his and brought my hand up past the side of his face to play with his hair instead. He sighed content.

"In a bit." He mumbled, though if I wasn't so close to him I doubt I would have heard him.

It wasn't too long after, that Jacob fell asleep, his breathing slowed down, his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. He looked peaceful in his sleep, free of all the concerns of his waking life. He looked happy. I lay beside him watching him for a while. _How easy it would be to love you... _The thought snapped me to attention._ What was I thinking? _I was playing into his hands, all of their hands. This is what they wanted from me, to fall for him._ You already have! _I was frustrated with myself. This wasn't like me at all.

I went to pull away from him, get up from the bed and go back downstairs and just let him sleep. But in his sleep, Jacob must have felt me pull away, because two big, strong, very warm arms, wrapped themselves around my body and pulled me back down to his chest. In his sleep he sighed contently again. I struggled for a little while to pull myself free of him, but failed. Instead I settled into his embrace, enjoying it whilst it lasted. He needed the sleep, and I would let him get it.

This was a man I cared deeply for. He seemed to understand me, we were connected in a way I never thought possible. Embry was right, he would do everything and anything for me, the least I could do was let him hold me whilst he slept. _Who was I to deny him that? _

_Who am I kidding? You can't help but love him, he's Jacob Black._

_[OOC: she's finally admitted to herself that she loves him, now she just needs to tell him...]_


	9. Chapter 9

Time was moving too fast, I'd made no decisions, no choices that would confirm my future, but it was drawing close. Too close. But in my heart I knew, the decisions had already been made for me. The connection I shared with Jacob grows stronger every day, every second. Leaving him would be heart breaking, it would be more than heart breaking, I think it would break me. As time goes on, I am beginning to learn that without Jacob I'm nothing, I'm not whole. The thought terrifies me. I have never needed someone the way I need him. At first I put it up to the fact that I had lost my family, that I felt alone and he understood, what with loosing his mum too. But now... I am beginning to learn better, it was just an excuse because I was too afraid to admit the truth. But now, here's the hard part. How do you tell someone who has basically become your best friend that you are completely and utterly, head over heels in love with them?

"Kyah?"

I could swear someone's just said my name, but my predicament is far more important. Fear of rejection from Jacob Black fills my body and I feel every muscle in it tense._ He might not want me back._

"Kyah?!" Someone yelled.

"What?" I mumble, too quietly.

"Have you not listened to a word we've been saying?" Seth's voice floats through the air to me, I can hardly process the words.

There's very little point in lying now. "No, not really." My voice is still quiet, and stiff.

"What's wrong?" Another voice asked, I think it's Quil's but I'm not completely sure.

"Nothing." I try to say it louder, more confidently. It doesn't work.

I finally pull my head up so my eyes can meet theirs. I don't know what they see there, but their expressions tell me it's not good.

"You look..." Embry trailed off.

"Thanks." I mutter sarcastically.

"What's wrong?" I get asked again.

I shrugged and lie quickly, "just thinking about home." I tell them. They don't look pleased. If I ever mention New York, the boys tense up as if I'm about to tell them I'm leaving in a second and won't ever come back.

"I thought you said New York wasn't home any more?" Seth asked me getting a little bit defensive.

"It's not." I agree nodding my head.

"So you were thinking about here?" He tests, unsure.

"Mhmm..." I hum in agreement. "I think I'm gonna stay."

Their faces lit up, smiles appeared, eyes twinkled in my direction. "No college?"

"Nah, who needs college to stay around here?" I ask playfully and they seem delighted.

"Have you told Jake?" The mood sobers a little and I shake my head.

"Only just decided." I tell them. They nod back at me in understanding. "I'm sure he'll find out whether I mention it or not. You guys aren't very good at keeping secrets from one another." I was playing, but they exchanged glances with each other, which only created an awkward silence, where I went back to looking down at my hands and stressing over Jacob Black.

There was some hustle and bustle that I didn't really hear or pay attention to, I was too busy recalling Jacobs face, when my name being called pulled me back to reality once again.

I looked up at the sound with a stupid grin on my face. "Would you stop doing that?" Seth asked me irritatedly.

"Doing what?" I was confused.

"I don't know, day dreaming or whatever it is you're doing."

I felt my eyebrows knit together and my forehead crumple. _How many times had I spaced out on them today? _I nodded and tried my best to pay attention to what was going on.

Not too long after, Jacob stormed through the front door and plopped himself down in the only spare seat, right next to me. I didn't look up at him, I didn't smile or say a word. My body tensed up and I sat there frozen, looking directly ahead of me at Seth, with a very blank expression on my face. After a moment or two I heard Jacob huff next to me, irritated. The boys started talking but I didn't speak or move, seconds later Jacob huffed again and I could help but laugh.

"What's wrong with you." I giggled whilst turning to look at him.

His face brightened, a smile creeped into his features and his expression seemed happier just at my acknowledgement of him. "Thought you weren't going to even say hello to me." He admitted, sliding the arm closest to me between the sofa and my back and pulling me into his side, whilst smiling happily at me.

Usually when Jacob makes a move like this, I wiggle out of it immediately, trying to make a point that we are just friends and that this type of thing is too forward and too far from just friends. I literally had two seconds to decide to push him away and receive that hurt puppy dog look he always gives me, or to leave it, to let him wrap his hugely muscular arm around me as if I'm his. It's one I struggle with making because I want nothing more than for him to hold me for the rest of my life, when it was too late anyway, I had taken too long battling with this, so he got what he wanted. He smiled hugely at me as if he'd finally won and victory was his. His hand squeezed my waist slightly, as if he was trying to reassure me that this would be ok. I could only imagine the look on my face. I wasn't smiling back at him, probably like he was hoping I would be. I just looked at him. _And what a sight he was._

I don't know how long we sat there, just staring at each other like we had never seen another human being before. Something passed between us as Jacob realised that I had allowed him to cross a line I had been so adamant about. It opened up so many possibilities for him, hopes, I could see it all flash through his eyes. I had been fighting a loosing battle all this time, I was so drawn to him that I was never going to win. Jacob had me from the first time he laid eyes on me and he had known it. It had always been about how long I was going to hold out. And now i can only find myself wondering how much time I had wasted, he could have been happy, I could have made him happy if I hadn't been so selfish and so stubborn. I would repay him for every second lost, I would find a way..

* * *

><p>I was sat cross legged on my bed, glasses propped on my nose, reading to Jacob, Romeo and Juliet. Finals weren't too long away and I hadn't been convinced he'd actually even read it yet. He had followed me up here a couple of hours ago but had had very little to say, so this was how I filled the silence. He laid full length on my bed, head propped up but my pillows and his arms folded underneath him. He smiled contently and every time I looked up he seemed to be listening intensely to every word I said.<p>

I sighed a little irritated to be honest and put the book down, looking at him. "You can't have seriously followed me up here for this." I tell him, motioning towards the book.

"I love listening to your voice." He declared, his voice was kind of dreamy, as if he was really paying attention to what he was saying.

The butterflies in my stomach sent my heart beating wildly. Jacob shot up, expression one of concern until he looked at me. Understanding filled his face and his body calmed instantly, a smile creeping onto his lips. The movement had been to fast, the thought process, all of it, inhuman almost. I tossed the thought away as I looked at him in all his perfectness, I must be a mess compared to him.

"You're so beautiful" he murmured, his body moving closer to mine, closing the gap between us. He seemed to be reading my mind, _was I that much of an open book? _I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out. Jacob instead brought his hand up to cup my cheek, it instantly warmed my skin. His thumb traced a line down my jaw and I felt it tingle there even once it was gone. He sure was going to get in what he could before I decided that line between us shouldn't be crossed anymore. Or thats what I presume he's thinking. But I think that now it's done, there's no going back.

His face came closer to mine, and my body froze, I couldn't react, I couldn't push him away or close the distance that he was taking his sweet time with. Eventually, after some hesitance on his part, his lips finally met mine, they were soft and warm as they pushed into mine and it took me a moment or two for my mind and body to really catch up with what was happening here. I hadn't responded and it felt like he was going to pull away from me any moment. I didn't want him to, I wanted him to just kiss me forever. I forced my lips to push back into his, pulled my body closer to his, and wrapped my arms around his neck. His hands found my waist and pulled me closer still to his now hot body and then wrapped themselves around me, keeping me there, not that I was going anywhere. Our lips moved together, as if this was the most natural thing in the world.

After a little while, his tongue slipped across me lower lip, begging me to let him in. Instantly my mouth opened, there was no way I could refuse him now, it was as if it would be impossible. His tongue was hot against my own as he battled with me for dominance.

All too soon he pulled away from me slightly, my hand falling to his chest, and I breathed deeply, regaining the precious oxygen I had lost in the process. His grasp on my body never loosened and when I finally looked back up and into his eyes, I saw so much adoration and love there, something I had seen before from him but never been able to place. His forehead came down to meet mine and his eyes fell closed, he still smiled brilliantly. He was happy, it radiated from him and into me, like it was contagious.

"There is no way that I will not do that every day for the rest of my life" he mumbled.

I didn't really know how to respond. _He kissed me! Jacob just kissed me! _My mind was still so stuck on the fact that this wasn't a dream , this had actually happened, that I hadn't noticed Jacobs face move towards me again and until his lips pressed against my own just for a moment, before they continued to my cheek, my jaw and down my neck to my shoulder. I can't lie, I was in heaven, and when his lips came back up to meet mine, this time, I didn't hesitate, I didn't freeze, I just kissed him back with everything I had.


	10. Chapter 10

The wind whipped my hair as I walked along the beach, taking in the sea air. It was peaceful here, I liked it. The waves looked more green today as the crashed around in front of me. The last few weeks had passed in a blur, at school, Jacob and I would pretend nothing had happened, nothing had changed between us. But at home it was like a completely different life. I couldn't make him leave my side. Not that I wanted him to. It was like I was living a double life. One where I'm Jacob Black's friend, the other where I'm his life. It was confusing, to be so on and off with him, until this morning when I realised that actually I think it's my fault and not his. I think I was paranoid about what people would say, how Seth might react, that I unconsciously pushed him away whenever we weren't alone. I wouldn't let him hold my hand or so much as even hug me, even though he had been doing so for as long as I has known him. There was a weird tension in the air as we all seemed to silently realise that maybe this wasn't happening the way that Jacob and I had imagined it. Maybe we, or I, and ruined the fairy tale.

I sighed, unhappily as always when Jacob wasn't around. Even now, I wasn't being fair to him.

A very large, very warm arm wrapped around my body, stopping me in my tracks. A body pushed itself up against my back and Jacobs voice whispered In my ear, "where you going?"

I smiled a little, still saddened by the sudden realisations of this morning. I shrugged. "Just walking... No where particularly." I manage to turn around in his grip to look up at him. He was smiling widely, happy to be alone with me. "Where are the others?" I asked, able to hear the confusion in my own voice.

He chuckled a little, "I manage to get rid of them." He pulled my body closer to his as he said this. "I wanted to see you." His voice seemed to darken as he spoke this last part.

I felt my head tilt to one side as I looked up at his face. "You don't seem very happy." The words spilled out of my mouth before i had time to reel them in.

He shrugged, "there's just a lot going on at the minute." Every word and movement was that of pure control. He didn't want me knowing this, that had always been obvious with him and the others, they had always been open with me about the fact that they had secrets that I couldn't be involved in at least for the time being.

"Me?" I questioned him, knowing fully well that my "a lot going on at the moment" was him and studying for finals that started next week.

"You are part of it." He admitted and I couldn't tell if he meant it at as good thing or a bad thing.

"You wana talk about it." I questioned, hoping he'd say no.

"That's actually, kinda why I'm here." He nodded, uncertainty filling his eyes. I couldn't bare to look at it. "I just want to know where I stand with you, whenever we're alone you seem to just let everything go, and be with me... But when any one else is around..." He trailed off. Neither of us spoke for a while. "I don't want to force you into something you don't want."

I sighed heavily before looking up at him. I pulled away from his grasp and sat down on the damp sand. Jacob joined me, sitting as close to me as possible, any closer and I'd be in his lap. His warmth surrounded me and it was comforting.

"Up until this morning I kinda just thought that this must just be some sort of phase friends go through to become... More" I struggled for the right words. He nodded as if he understood what I meant. "There is no doubt in my mind that you became my closest friend over these last few months."

"I know." His voice was small as if he were afraid of what came next.

"This morning I had an epiphany... I've been pushing you away, making this more difficult than it needs to be." The guilt was evident in my voice.

He looked at me for a long time before asking me the question I didn't want to answer. "Why?" I didn't say a thing. "It's supposed to be as easy and natural as breathing for us." He was so certain.

"It is." I nodded. "To the point that it scares me a little." He looked sad and I had to make him understand. "But you are also the best thing that happened to me since I lost my family." His eyes snapped to mine, brightening in the process. "I won't lie to you Jacob, none of this has been easy for me, falling for you to the extent that I've decided against every plan I ever made for myself is a huge thing."

Realisation dawned his face. "You're staying here for me." His voice was quiet, I was only just able to hear it above the waves.

I nodded and neither of us spoke for a while. "I need you." I declared. "You're the only person that makes life good again, the only person who can somehow make up for what I've lost." More silence, but in his eyes there was a deep understanding there, like he knew a lot more than I did. "And to be perfectly honest Jacob." I continued. "I probably wouldn't be so hesitant if it wasn't for the fact that there is a huge part of your life that you won't let me be a part of. You've been honest with me all this time, telling me that there are something's that I won't understand, secrets that I can't know, when you get to know everything about me. I've reached the point where I can't be more than this for you without knowing all of you. This is pretty much the make or break part of this relationship or whatever you want to call it." I finish quickly trying to cover the fact that I have just called what Jacob and I have a "relationship". "The choice of what happens next is on you. All I can ask is that you don't mess with my head till finals are done, take the next couple of weeks to decide if you really want me, enough that you will just tell me what's going on, because I'm tired of being in the dark and I'm done waiting for you."

He didn't say anything at first , he just nodded. We sat looking at each other for a moment. Both of us rethinking everything that has just been said. I was surprised by my own strength throughout. The idea that Jacob might decide his secret is more important than being with me was both terrifying and heart breaking, but this moment had been coming for a long time.

He finally broke the silence. "I do want you." His voice was definite, sure, and determined. "I will tell you everything, I promise... But it will be hard to hear and a lot to take in. After finals, and the end of school beach party, I'll tell you everything.


	11. Chapter 11

Finals were over, school was done for good. I looked myself over in the full length mirror in my room. I wore a little, figure hugging cream dress that contrasted my coppery skin nicely, it had full length sleeves, a low rounded neckline and a lace finish. My hair was mostly down but pinned up at the sides out of my face and wavy. I tilted my head to the side, I looked like my old self.

My bedroom door opened and Seth walked in, he was tall and more gangly than Jacob, but was so much like him too. He wore a shirt and jeans as I presumed most of the boys would, it's about as smart as they can get. He whistled low when he saw me. "Look at you," he gawked.

"Mmmm..." I murmur looking back in the mirror at myself. "Maybe I should change..."

"Why?" He seemed confused.

"Feels a bit too much?" It was more a question of his opinion than me stating my own. In New York this wouldn't be nearly enough.

"It's perfect." Seth said whilst grabbing my hand and dragging me out the house before I could start digging through my wardrobe.

We arrived at the beach late, most of the schools students were already there, music blasted out from massive speakers, fires had been lit to provide most of the light, everyone was eating, drinking, dancing and yelling over the noise.

I noticed some of my girl friends from school and wordlessly departed from Seth and headed in their direction. They all, like me wore dresses, to which I felt relieved. They squealed when they saw me and we had to do the "you look so great" thing girls do.

School, was out and I let myself let go of the stress of it and just have some fun. I joined in the beginning of summer fun, dancing and laughing with my friends and class mates. Hours passed before I even remembered that actually I had come here with Seth and just abandoned him. He would be fine and with his friends, and no doubt has a close eye on me.

I made excuses to leave the girls before heading out of the crowd of people, searching the faces for my cousin. Upon finally spotting the group of large men, I headed in their direction, and sat myself down upon one of the logs they were using as a bench. I turned to my left to find that I had sat down next to Embry, who smiled brightly at my joining him.

"You look good!" I giggled , eyeing him up and down. "Very handsome." I said messing up his hair a little. He glared at me playfully before sporting his own approval of my appearance.

"Would you two get a room!" Someone, I suspected Jared, yelled across at us, earning some laughs in approval from Paul, which only resulted in them both being smacked by their respective other halves.

"Wrong wolf." I heard Embry mumble beside me and I could only look at him questioningly. He shrugged it off. _Wolf_?

I look around the fire, to finally notice a very important someone was missing. "Speaking of... Where is Jake?" I asked, concern filling my voice.

"He was here earlier... He'll be back... He went to ummm... Visit some friends." Embry shrugged like it was no big deal.

"Huh... Didn't realise he had other friends..." I raised one eyebrow.

"Yeah... Bella". Quil piped up and when I looked confused said, "you're finding everything out soon." Before turning to Embry and starting a conversation about some truck.

I spent the remainder of the evening laughing with the group of people that had over a very short space of time become my second family. I gossiped with Emily, Rachel and Kim, laughed with Quil and Embry, and chatted with Leah who surprisingly turned up and then confessed she had only come because I had asked her to.

Before long Seth, Leah and I had headed home, the party was coming to a close as couples had snuck off, friends headed to each other's houses to continue the fun. It seemed however, that I would be headed to bed, as the rest of the group had gone their separate ways and Jacob hadn't turned up like Embry had promised he would.

As soon as we entered the house I headed straight for my room, bidding my cousins a good night. I closed the door quietly behind me and sighed, I had been hoping I'd see Jacob tonight. I headed over to the mirror looking at myself again. The person looking back at me, looked exactly as I had before I had left the house, which made me wonder how much fun I had really had. In New York, I'd always look a mess when I got home, I guess that's what I get for becoming a small town girl. 'I wouldn't have made such an effort if I'd known he wouldn't be there', I thought to myself as I studied my reflection. 'Jeans would have been much warmer.'

I suppose you could say I was disappointed by Jacobs absence, it felt like a silent change of mind, like now was the time to tell me the truth about what's been going on and he'd decided not to. I stared gloomily at myself in the mirror a little while longer and didn't look up when my bedroom door opened or closed. Seth could wait whilst I stared at myself with pity. I know better than to believe anything a man says, i should have realised he wouldn't be there tonight.

Completely forgetting the presence of someone else in my room, I turned away from the mirror only to jump out of my skin when I realised I wasn't alone. My heart raced from fear and shock and my hand flew to my chest as I felt my heart pound against it.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Jacobs husky voice pulled me back to reality. He edged further into my room with all intentions of comforting me, I could tell by the look on his face.

I shook my head to try to claim that he hadn't but that was stupid really, my reaction to him had made it very clear. "I forgot someone had come in for a moment, thought you were Seth." My voice was very calm even though my heart beat was still erratic, but that could very well just be from Jacobs presence.

"Oh, he let me in, and told me you were up here. I should have knocked." He admitted.

"Since when do you boys ever knock?" I joked.

"I knock all the time!" He defended himself. I only nodded, and silence filled the room. Some time later he speaks again, his voice sincere, "you look so beautiful". He looked me up and down, taking in the sight of me like he needed to remember this moment.

I tilted my head to one side as I looked at him, "how are your friends?" I asked him, of course referring to the friends Quil had earlier told me Jacob had been visiting, mostly to avoid any awkwardness at his compliment.

"What friends?" He asked uncertain.

"Quil told me you weren't at the beach because you'd had to leave to see some friends... Bella or something." I shrugged turning away from him, but not before I saw his face darken.

"What else did he tell you?" His voice was hard and cold, nothing at all like the voice I had come to love.

"Nothing." I admit whilst sitting on the edge of my bed.

Jacob nodded and joined me, I faintly felt his body shake next to mine, but as our arms brushed against each other, he seemed to calm a little. We sat together for a while, just enjoying each other's company, Jacob seemed to be deep on thought and I allowed him to battle with whatever might be going on in his mind. I lifted my hand and placed it in one of his in his lap, his head snapped up at the motion and my touch and his eyes glowed with such warmth as he looked at me.

I smiled sweetly at him as he said, "I wish we could just stay like this forever."

"Really?" I asked him incredulously.

He nodded, "why not?" He was afraid I'd tell him I didn't want him, it was written plain as day on his face.

"I was hoping our forever would get a hell of a lot better than this." I giggled as I nudged his arm with my shoulder.

He smiled brightly at me as though I'd just made his day. "I guess I've got a lot to tell you before you even agree to let me have forever with you". It was more of a question than a statement to which I nodded. "Where do I start?" He asked me, looking down at my hand which he was now gripping with his own as if I'd pull it away and never touch him again,

"How about from the beginning" I muttered.

He nodded. I smiled at him reassuringly and squeezed his hand slightly. Jacob started then, he told me the tribes legends of how the Quileute people came to be and how the spirit warriors first shifted from men to wolves because of an agreement made by Taha Aki and of how our people have magic in their blood. He told me of the the cold ones and of the third wives sacrifice, all of this I had heard time and time again from my own mother. The legends had greatly influenced the way she lived her life and in effect the way that I had lived mine.

"Taha Aki's descendants no longer turned to wolves when they reached manhood. Only when a cold one was near would they return." He finished.

"I know the stories better than most Jacob." I tell him.

"You said start from the beginning." He defended.

"There's more?" I asked confused. He only nodded at me.

"Whilst Ephraim Black had phased, a man, a cold one, spoke to him as though he were a friend, promised he and his family wouldn't harm anyone, that they were different. His strange, yellow eyes proved this and a treaty was made that would allow Carlisle Cullen and his family to live here in peace all the while they wouldn't hurt a member of the tribe. The coven came and went over the years, every so often forcing new generations to phase and become a pack in order to protect the tribe." He told me. I didn't say anything, I hadn't heard this part of the stories before but Ephraim Black was Jacobs great grandfather and that seemed too recent to be a part of the tribes legends.

"And that was it until a few years ago" he told me in a very matter of fact sort of way, before diving straight into his story. "Everything was pretty normal up until a few years ago, I had met Bella, we'd known each other since we were really little actually, but she and her mom moved away. She came back to stay with her dad and really settled in in Forks, got a boyfriend. My dad didn't like him much, I just thought he was over reacting, you know, being protective of her. Edward, Bella's boyfriend left quite suddenly and Bella was a mess, really unhappy, depressed actually. We hung out a lot after that, fixed bikes together, it seemed to really help her, you know, being around me." I nodded in complete understanding and agreement at that Jacob was comforting. But I could also feel the dread as to where this was headed.

"I'm not going to lie to you or sugar coat it, I fell for her, hard. Around the same time that this was happening Sam was beginning to bug me a little, we didn't know each other then, but he was always watching me, as if he was waiting for me. And then Embry joined Sam's "gang". He laughed at the word. "That freaked me out a bit, the three of us had agreed to just stay away from him."

Jacobs face was filled with the sadness of the memory. "I was out one night at the movies with Bella and her friend Mike". He said the name with disgust. "That's when it happend. I just got really mad, for no reason, hot, I didn't feel like me, so I skipped out on them, went home and that night, I phased. Suddenly, in a fit of anger, I wasn't human me anymore, I had fur and paws and a tail. It was weird and... Painful... That's really when it all sort of clicked, everything made sense." It was safe to say this last part had me very confused. I could feel my eyebrows pull together in my inability to understand.

"We are short tempered, it can be dangerous, and Sam, being Alpha, he demanded that i stay away from Bella, no one could know our secret. But Bella, she already knew about the cold ones, her boyfriend was one after all. No wonder my father had hated him so much. Them one say, not too long after I joined the pack, she was attacked and we saved her, ripped the filthy blood suckers head off, tore him apart and burned the pieces, but it didn't keep her safe for long... I forced Bella to remember the stories I had told her of our people, to guess what I was, she did. We found out that Edward had killed another cold one to protect Bella, and his mate, a red head wanted revenge, an eye for an eye. She wanted Bella." He took a quick glance in my direction, making sure I was still listening, his hot hand still grasped hold of mine and I looked at it now filled with the concentration it took to hear Jacobs story.

"We protected her, and then the Cullen's came back. Turned out things were worse than we had thought. The redhead had created an army of new borns, stronger and faster than older vampires, just to kill one human girl. We were about to fight them to protect her, the pack and the coven put aside their feelings for each other to fight together. That's when I made her realise that she loved me back, had her finally kiss me." He shuddered, almost in shame at this. "We fought and we won. But I got hurt in the process, it crushed all the bones on the right side of my body. After that fight, she came to me, told me that she loved me, but she loved Edward more. Not only was my body broken but so was my heart. I healed pretty quick and even though i was the reason she had survived so long, she didn't want me. She proved that when I got the invitation to her wedding not too long after, and I ran away. It hurt too much to know she was going to throw her life away, die to be one of them." His body shook at the memory and I was deeply saddened by his love for this girl, jealous even, although she created this boundary for them, I couldn't help but hate her for Jacobs loving her, and for her breaking his heart.

"I stayed a wolf the whole time, it wasn't as painful then, we are stronger in all ways in that form. I came back a few months later, just in time to make it to her wedding. She told me that she's was going to sleep with him whilst she was human." His body shook violently. "I thought he'd end up ripping her apart, he wouldn't have the control, that he'd kill her, so I hated them being away for the honeymoon. I thought he'd kill her or turn her, either way she'd be dead, whether she made it back to Forks not. When I heard that she was back, I went to see her... She was pregnant! It was unheard of, a human pregnant with a monsters baby. It was killing her too. We didn't know what sort of threat this baby would bring us or our people, Sam ordered us to kill her before it could ever be born. That's when I split from the pack, to protect Bella, it had always been about protecting Bella. Seth and Leah joined me, I hadn't expected it, and on the night that she was born we fought our family to protect the human girl. Bella died in labour, and became one of them."

I raised my eye brows. This all seemed like a horror story to me. But he was serious, this was either a sick joke or Jacob was actually telling me this was real, this had happened. The legends that my mother had loved so much were true.

"After the birth... That's when I met you." He tells me. "That's when everything changed". He squeezed my hand and I looked up into his eyes, they held so much love I had to look away.

"Then what?" I asked him.

He paused thinking for a while. "You made everything better, I felt nothing for Bella after seeing you for the first time. Bella drifted away, and you became the reason I breathe." I rolled my eyes. "You know all of what's happened between us so I'll skip that." I nodded in agreement. "One of the Cullen's family came to town and saw Renesmee, thinking she was an immortal child, she reported the crime to the Volturi. They are basically vampire royalty, they keep the secrets, uphold their laws and clean up the messes. We knew that the Volturi were coming for Renesmee, and we needed help. Carlisle and the others gathered everyone they could find to stand against the Volturi, all of us ready to fight if we had to."

He saw the look on my face, one moment he's telling me he loves Bella, the next he's telling me he doesn't and now he's telling me he was ready to fight and die for her child. I was confused and i admit, hurting somewhat. "You have to understand, Bella is family, no matter how I feel about her, she will always be my family, and we protect our family." He tells me very seriously, obviously picking up on my hurting, I nodded. "Luckily, we didn't have to fight. Alice and Jasper managed to find another half breed like Renesmee to prove that she wouldn't be dangerous, that she would grow and learn. And the Volturi left, but ever since we have been in their sights, i doubt it will be long before they find another reason to come back here."

I had questions, millions of them. He finally had stopped talking, it felt like I had been listening to him for hours. I stood, pulling my hand from his and walked over to the nearest window, looking out at the forest deep in thought. He didn't say a ward, just watched me go, his eyes never left my body.

"Let's say, for now, that I believe everything you just said." He nodded. "You turn into a giant wolf?" I asked. He nodded. "And so do my cousins?" He nodded, "and all your friends?" Again he nodded.

"Hmm... And when you do that, just like the spirit warriors in the story you can hear each other's thoughts?"

"Yeah... When you say it like that it sounds crazy." He chuckled.

"Uh huh..." I wasn't sure at this point that he wasn't crazy. "And you are like super strong?"

"All of our natural senses are heightened, everything about us really. We are stronger and faster, hear better, see better, smell better. Like right now I can hear Seth and Leah arguing downstairs about how well you're going to take this."

"They should butt out of what isn't their business..." Silence. "This is the reason why you are all so hot?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, so we can withstand any weather and the leeches are sensitive to heat too, so it helps. Plus helps us not get ill." He mumbled the last part. I nodded, that part made some sense I supposed.

"Anything else I should know about?" I asked, turning back to look at him finally. My face a blank mask.

"We heal pretty fast and we will only age once we stop phasing." He told me, it was as if he had prepared a list.

"You don't age?" I asked incredulously.

"Not right now... I will, when I'm not needed any more."

"And that's it?" No more secrets or surprises?" I asked him.

"Not exactly..." He trailed off. I waited wordlessly. "I kind of... Imprinted on you the first time I met you."

I was confused, I hadn't heard the term before. "What's that?" I asked curiously.

"It's the reason you feel so connected to me." I shook my head for the first time, I was not on the same page as him now. He sighed. "It's pretty complicated to explain. It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend, or a brother. When I looked at you Everything that made me who I was – my love for Bella , my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self – disconnected from me in that second and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was. The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood. You did. You have to understand, imprinting is like a shove in the right direction, it can't force me to love you and it can't force you to love me back, I and the imprint have absolutely no control over what happens here, that's all you. I can show you and tell you what I want from you, tell you that I am completely in love with you, that I want you to feel the same way about me. But that is up to you, it will always be up to you. This is whatever you want it to be, I'll be whatever you want me to be."

I didn't speak for a long time, taking in exactly what he'd said to me. Finally I say all I can think of. "You think it was a good idea to kiss me and then tell me this? Which basically makes my having a choice about it all completely irrelevant at this point. I Would have had a choice a few months ago before you were so persistent on making me fall for you. It's too late now and you know it."

He looked sad and dropped his face into his hands. He assumed I was accusing him. "I think it was too late the second you showed up to be honest." He mumbled.

"You're going to have to prove to me that you aren't just playing some sick prank, that this is real you know that right?" I ask, nervous but ready.

He nodded and stood. He motioned for me to follow him and he led me out of my room and the house and towards the forest. "Where are we going?" I ask him.

He nodded towards the forest, "I need room and I can't be seen by just anyone." He smiled at me reassuringly as he delved into the forest. We walked a little ways in, I could still see the lights from the house, through the trees.

That's when he told me to stop walking, he carried on a good few feet in front of me. "Just keep looking or you won't believe what you see." He tells me. I nod. "Remember who you see, you know me, better than anyone." I nod again a little scared and too nervous to voice anything.

He stripped off his clothes, his body shook violently and before I knew it a russet coloured reddish brown wolf came bursting out or from Jacob. It was massive at least 10 foot tall. I stood in shock staring at this wolf.

When I was able to think coherently again I was surprised that I didn't feel afraid. I looked into the wolfs eyes and I saw Jacobs staring right back at me.

"Well I wasn't expecting that." I muttered joking to myself.

[OOC: some of the bit about imprinting was taken from the books, not copywriting, I just don't think anyone can rewrite that and I didn't want to offend anyone by trying.].


End file.
